Leanne's Life Part 2

I do not understand.

When I say, "I'm frustrated with my kids", people say, "you don't want to be a mother."

When I say, "I'm struggling" or "I'm overwhelmed", people say, "what's wrong with you!"

When I try to be generous, people say, "you're selfish".

When I try to be compassionate, people say, "you don't realize that other people have issues too."

When I try to compromise and collaborate, people say, "you always have to have your own way."

When I try to persevere through everything and not get pulled down by circumstances, people say, "you're too stubborn."

When I try to explain how I feel and what I think, when I make time for those difficult conversations and allow people to share with me things that aren't easy to hear and  when I do things that aren't easy to do, when I take the risk of showing emotion instead of blocking it out, when I've given more than I ever thought I was capable of giving, tried more than I ever thought I was capable of trying, people say, "you're not willing to make an effort."

I'm not willing to make an effort.

I do not understand.

When I have tried and tried and tried, tried to forgive, tried to believe the best in people, tried to not take things personally, tried to be patient, sometimes succeeding, sometimes not, and it's being heaped on me and heaped on me some more, and I feel like no one hears me, and I reach this intense point of desperation, and I lose it and freak out, it's proof. People will overlook every positive, constructive thing they've ever heard or seen about you just to have that satisfaction of proof that see, you are in fact "that" person. 

I really, really do not understand. 

July 26, 2012
I DO understand now! It's because people are so interested in what they want to say, they are NOT interested in listening or asking questions to learn or understand or get to know the individual. They think they have all the answers and it's all about THEM. I see it all so clearly now!