Your life is your story. And you haven't experienced those highs for your benefit alone, nor those lows to carry alone. The lessons we learn in life are meant to be passed on and shared. About 10 years ago I was questioning why I had been given a certain set of circumstances to deal with in my life. There hasn't been one answer but rather many.
I believe God allows us to go through stuff to help other people go through stuff. To me, that explains everything while sounding like it explains nothing. What I didn't know at the time is there's actually a verse in the Bible that says exactly that. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.")
We keep our challenges to ourselves because we feel it's too much of a burden to bother anyone else with it. We often feel like we can't talk about what's on our hearts, that we can't express how we feel, or even ask for help because we can't place it on another person's shoulders to carry. As if it's not hard enough to walk through tough times, but to feel alone in it? It's too much! First and foremost, keeping God as our first priority instead of a last resort, Psalm 68:19 reminds us, "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." But there is a time to share with people we trust. Galatians 6:2 tells us to "Share each others' burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ."
I'm not saying we need to dump all of our stuff on every person who asks, "how are you?" I do believe that there are pieces of our story that we need to share as the Lord prompts; conversely, I also believe there are times God prompts us to remain silent. I think the difference is this; am I sharing my story to bring glory to myself or deciding I have the answer to another's situation in my big brain, or is my aim to give the glory to God. Matthew 6:1-16 (read it at the bottom of this blog entry) talks about doing things to be admired by others, but in doing so, we lose our reward in Heaven.
We also need to be careful about the stories we say about ourselves or to ourselves. Our "story" could be a single word or it could be our life history. Maybe there's a negative characteristic you continue to brand yourself with. (Brand: 1) a mark made by burning or otherwise, to indicate kind, grade, make, ownership, etc. 2) to mark with disgrace or infamy; stigmatize. 3) to impress indelibly.) It might be a word like "shy", a phrase like "I suck at math", or a label someone has put on us, possibly even what they intended as a joke but it pierced our heart and branded our spirit. We come to a time when we need to give up these labels and believe that God has made us to be more than that story and that He is developing a bigger picture within us. Every time we repeat our story, we reaffirm that we are, in fact, that word, that phrase, that history. To counteract that, we need to discover the truth of who Christ says we are (Deuteronomy 11:18a "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds.") and take a serious look at our lives and make a point of seeing, and be grateful for, the characteristics and the new history He has given us or is developing in us and the good lessons we can find in tough circumstances. (Deuteronomy 30:14, 19b "But the word is very near you, in your mouth and in your mind and in your heart, so that you can do it. I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life." Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.")
Often our story comes from deep within ourselves, an issue close to our hearts, and it's probably a source of pain or even shame. As we share these private pieces that we hold on to so tightly, the Lord can start to bring healing. I've been blessed to observe a friend who recently shared her story of an abusive past, another friend with a story of miscarriage, (I could list example after example) and as they started to release their grip on their pain and private thoughts and feelings, the Lord moved in a huge way. The friend who experienced abuse was able to forgive. The friend with the miscarriage was blessed with a healthy baby. And both women are now able to speak their new history with great impact. I've found God takes the most difficult circumstances and makes something new and beautiful from it. (Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.") When we're willing to share our stories, God can use it for His ultimate purpose, (Jeremiah 29:11-13 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'") which is to draw us closer to Himself and to point others toward Him.
As promised, Matthew 6, to emphasize why we need to be Spirit-led instead of self-led.
Matthew 6:1-16
“Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. 2 When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. 3 But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. 4 Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.
5 “When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. 6 But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. 7 “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. 8 Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him! 9 Pray like this:
Our Father in heaven,
may your name be kept holy.
10 May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done on earth,
as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today the food we need,
12 and forgive us our sins,
as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
13 And don’t let us yield to temptation,
but rescue us from the evil one.
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
16 “And when you fast, don’t make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get. 17 But when you fast, comb your hair and wash your face. 18 Then no one will notice that you are fasting, except your Father, who knows what you do in private. And your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.
